Unreserved favor and grace is my daily potion from my father in heaven
Everyday I wake up with a smile and though sometimes I get weary the darkness is no longer my friend ..his hand reached through the mist , reached down into the dark and dreary pit and lifted me,
He wiped my tears , cleaned my wounds ' drowned my shame fought my wars ..i emerged victorious and refreshed
because I am a child of grace I can show grace
Because I have found true love I can truly love
no longer am I defined by the world
the one who gave his life wiped my slate clean
And everyday he takes my hand and walks with me..
I will sing of his love forever amazing grace how sweet the sound , that saved a wretch like me ! ;D
March 7, 2011
Friday, March 25, 2011
Thank you
Thank you for loving me for choosing to see beyond my faults and instead believing in my possibilities.. For showing me grace though I've failed you , for bringing out the beauty from my ugly scars, a past that I hated, the people I loathed.. You graced me so now I grace them , the tears they caused the disappointment it brought , who knew that it would result into a staircase that would bring me closer to heaven..to see me as you see me, to love me as you love me, to forgive them like you forgive me.. I thank them I thank you.
January 28, 2011
January 28, 2011
To walk again
Its been a while since I wrote anything , for some reason my thoughts and emotions have been in combat with each other . I couldn't find a way to jot them down
I can't believe I'm going to say this but I've been fortunate to have had surgery twice since 2008 Every time this happens I realize God is trying to get my attention ..asking me to slow down take a minute meditate re-evaluate ..i try so hard to stay on his path but its hard and I know I've strayed many times this year..but through his grace he always gives me another chance to get it right. Now as I'm gearing up for the last one I'm excited to see what new beginnings he has for me..its a chance to say good bye to the old and begin anew ,they are taking out an object that has been part of me for a long time, and with its departure comes a whole new me.. saying good bye to all the trash from my past, the pain the negativity ,the fears those trials have Truly made me stronger , I bear my scars with pride for because of HIM I have survived so much ..and when I finally put down those crutches for the very last time I will be able to stand , I will be healed I will walk again .
and to my friends and family who have taken time to pray with me and encourage me I'm indebted to you .thank you u for loving me ! God bless y'all .
October 12, 2010
I can't believe I'm going to say this but I've been fortunate to have had surgery twice since 2008 Every time this happens I realize God is trying to get my attention ..asking me to slow down take a minute meditate re-evaluate ..i try so hard to stay on his path but its hard and I know I've strayed many times this year..but through his grace he always gives me another chance to get it right. Now as I'm gearing up for the last one I'm excited to see what new beginnings he has for me..its a chance to say good bye to the old and begin anew ,they are taking out an object that has been part of me for a long time, and with its departure comes a whole new me.. saying good bye to all the trash from my past, the pain the negativity ,the fears those trials have Truly made me stronger , I bear my scars with pride for because of HIM I have survived so much ..and when I finally put down those crutches for the very last time I will be able to stand , I will be healed I will walk again .
and to my friends and family who have taken time to pray with me and encourage me I'm indebted to you .thank you u for loving me ! God bless y'all .
October 12, 2010
How to survive a break up
1. Cry
2. Talk to your friends don't stink up the carpet by shoving your baggage under it, by allowing yourself to be vulnerable with others you will find healing .
3. Pray
4. Do something that makes you happy listen to music, try new foods, watch a new movie there's so much to do
5.Laugh , hard.
6. Road tripppppppp ! Visit a new place that you've never been to
7. Cry some more..
8.Give yourself room to process all the emotions they are valid and should be expressed.
9. Rebounds are a no-no that just adds more baggage and stinks up the carpet :)
10. Don't allow yourself to be jaded.. Love still remains.there's hope.
September 27, 2010
2. Talk to your friends don't stink up the carpet by shoving your baggage under it, by allowing yourself to be vulnerable with others you will find healing .
3. Pray
4. Do something that makes you happy listen to music, try new foods, watch a new movie there's so much to do
5.Laugh , hard.
6. Road tripppppppp ! Visit a new place that you've never been to
7. Cry some more..
8.Give yourself room to process all the emotions they are valid and should be expressed.
9. Rebounds are a no-no that just adds more baggage and stinks up the carpet :)
10. Don't allow yourself to be jaded.. Love still remains.there's hope.
September 27, 2010
I See
I'm standing at the edge of a cliff with a birds eye view of my life.. all of it strewn across the horizon
I see my childhood the moments I like to remember the others Id like to forget
I see myself getting older my naivety getting chipped away by the journey of life I see the ones I've loved
the ones who left,
I see the ones Ive hurt the tears I've caused
The friends I've lost the few who've stayed
So many tears so many smiles
The boys the men,
the girls the women
The darkness the light
New beginnings that led to the end
And beginnings that are now my journey to my last breath
Will I stand, will I fall
that I cannot see for I know not what tomorrow will bring
And that is why I continue to trust in the King.
August 31, 2010
I see my childhood the moments I like to remember the others Id like to forget
I see myself getting older my naivety getting chipped away by the journey of life I see the ones I've loved
the ones who left,
I see the ones Ive hurt the tears I've caused
The friends I've lost the few who've stayed
So many tears so many smiles
The boys the men,
the girls the women
The darkness the light
New beginnings that led to the end
And beginnings that are now my journey to my last breath
Will I stand, will I fall
that I cannot see for I know not what tomorrow will bring
And that is why I continue to trust in the King.
August 31, 2010
I shine
its beyond comprehension
The reason I smile
Even when its raining
And the storm is pounding outside
broken hearted and bruised
I still shine, a light bursting out from beyond the clouds
A radiance whose source is infinite immortal eternal
A strength that goes beyond logic
A joy that knows no bounds
even through my tears I still shine
A tranquility in the midst of turmoil I shine
its his grace ,it shines on me
that's what you see when you look at me .
August 23, 2010
The reason I smile
Even when its raining
And the storm is pounding outside
broken hearted and bruised
I still shine, a light bursting out from beyond the clouds
A radiance whose source is infinite immortal eternal
A strength that goes beyond logic
A joy that knows no bounds
even through my tears I still shine
A tranquility in the midst of turmoil I shine
its his grace ,it shines on me
that's what you see when you look at me .
August 23, 2010
So what ?
So what if I got it wrong..
It will only make me strong
No more tears no more fears I'm finally beginning to feel alive again, no more pain,
Its amazing how many second chances we get ,just when you are ready to give up and resign yourself to a desolate fate , there is a flicker of hope that fills the gaping wound in your heart
there's joy pouring down and a smile on your face
There is a friend to walk beside you and around you
its not the end its the beginning an endless horizon of possibilities ,
Let the adventure begin
Dust off your shoes , its time to walk again.
August 11, 2010
It will only make me strong
No more tears no more fears I'm finally beginning to feel alive again, no more pain,
Its amazing how many second chances we get ,just when you are ready to give up and resign yourself to a desolate fate , there is a flicker of hope that fills the gaping wound in your heart
there's joy pouring down and a smile on your face
There is a friend to walk beside you and around you
its not the end its the beginning an endless horizon of possibilities ,
Let the adventure begin
Dust off your shoes , its time to walk again.
August 11, 2010
So much to live for
I overheard a conversation recently and someone was saying they couldn't understand why someone would get suicidal
the immediate thought in my head was wow you are lucky .I know people who feel suicidal everyday..the ones who wake up in the morning and wish they had died
The pain in your heart and the thoughts in your head they consume you and the only time you find peace is when you lay your head down when you lay your head down to rest
its a darkness that just won't quit, that drags your down and spits you out and drags you down again
But every time you fight it
A small flicker of light, hope pushes you above the surface..a whispered prayer a call to a friend who is willing to listen and for sometime there's peace
Sanity, life, love prevails
this one is dedicated to all of you have contemplated ending it there's hope
our loving God cannot take you through the fire and leave you to burn , but he will lovingly hold you and protect you until his work is done
So do not despair , as the song goes don't give up the fight for your life you shall live and not die!
August 3, 2010
the immediate thought in my head was wow you are lucky .I know people who feel suicidal everyday..the ones who wake up in the morning and wish they had died
The pain in your heart and the thoughts in your head they consume you and the only time you find peace is when you lay your head down when you lay your head down to rest
its a darkness that just won't quit, that drags your down and spits you out and drags you down again
But every time you fight it
A small flicker of light, hope pushes you above the surface..a whispered prayer a call to a friend who is willing to listen and for sometime there's peace
Sanity, life, love prevails
this one is dedicated to all of you have contemplated ending it there's hope
our loving God cannot take you through the fire and leave you to burn , but he will lovingly hold you and protect you until his work is done
So do not despair , as the song goes don't give up the fight for your life you shall live and not die!
August 3, 2010
You know me
I'm thankful that you get me that u sacrificed everything to give me life,
To give me love ,a promise of eternity
My sinful nature did not deserve it u knew that I would sin again and yet you love me
U understand the frailty of my heart ,u know that I will disappoint u again and again and yet u bless me
U see the path created by the scars from my past
the scars that make others judge and turn away
I'm thankful that you've shown me those scars are beautiful and now i wear them proudly as a testament of how far we have come together
You know me and yet you love me
and that gives me the strength to strive on until the day I shall see your face and thank you for your grace
Jeremiah 31:3 I have loved you with an everlasting love.
July 14, 2010
To give me love ,a promise of eternity
My sinful nature did not deserve it u knew that I would sin again and yet you love me
U understand the frailty of my heart ,u know that I will disappoint u again and again and yet u bless me
U see the path created by the scars from my past
the scars that make others judge and turn away
I'm thankful that you've shown me those scars are beautiful and now i wear them proudly as a testament of how far we have come together
You know me and yet you love me
and that gives me the strength to strive on until the day I shall see your face and thank you for your grace
Jeremiah 31:3 I have loved you with an everlasting love.
July 14, 2010
Redemption II
Twisting and turning she crawled up the hill
tears streaming down her cheeks ,her knees scraped and bleeding ,her clothes tattered and torn
Her heart broken the guilt and regret too heavy to bear
Where she was headed ,she didn't know
all she knew was that she had to escape the darkness that threatened to snuff the life out of her
So she kept crawling ,praying that the voices that condemned her would be silenced, that the visions that tormented her dreams would cease and she would reach the top..victorious
free, soak in the light and warmth from the sun above
And maybe just maybe experience again the redemption that comes with true love.
July 5, 2010
tears streaming down her cheeks ,her knees scraped and bleeding ,her clothes tattered and torn
Her heart broken the guilt and regret too heavy to bear
Where she was headed ,she didn't know
all she knew was that she had to escape the darkness that threatened to snuff the life out of her
So she kept crawling ,praying that the voices that condemned her would be silenced, that the visions that tormented her dreams would cease and she would reach the top..victorious
free, soak in the light and warmth from the sun above
And maybe just maybe experience again the redemption that comes with true love.
July 5, 2010
Music II
I'm in love with music
Im thankful I have a place I can run to where its just me and you
You lift a downcast spirit and heal a broken heart
You take me to the place of joy and there I can dance
Escape for a moment from the confines of life
The words ringing in my head and in my heart
Worship opening a door to his feet, where my tears are turned into smiles
Where his embrace melts my ice cold heart
Where my wounds are tended to
And my sins redeemed
Music brings the message of love,of peace,of grace of life..
June 28, 2010
Im thankful I have a place I can run to where its just me and you
You lift a downcast spirit and heal a broken heart
You take me to the place of joy and there I can dance
Escape for a moment from the confines of life
The words ringing in my head and in my heart
Worship opening a door to his feet, where my tears are turned into smiles
Where his embrace melts my ice cold heart
Where my wounds are tended to
And my sins redeemed
Music brings the message of love,of peace,of grace of life..
June 28, 2010
Redemption
The tragedy of human beings is the predictability and consistency of our nature to sin ,to fall..even when the son reaches down and extends his outstretched hand to lift us out of the miry clay still we return..he lays before me picture of what could be,joys unmeasurable the future of a life spent with him and yet I sin
He says he loves me and will remain unchanging and yet I sin
He offers life eternal and still I sin
He shines a light into my darkness and still I sin
An act of self sabotage shooting myself in the foot
To afraid to walk on the path,to afraid to believe that the pain is over ,to afraid to accept the gifts that seem too good to be true..
is there a reason to try ? help me believe help me heal help me redeem myself for I am darkness and cannot see the light.
June 27, 2010
He says he loves me and will remain unchanging and yet I sin
He offers life eternal and still I sin
He shines a light into my darkness and still I sin
An act of self sabotage shooting myself in the foot
To afraid to walk on the path,to afraid to believe that the pain is over ,to afraid to accept the gifts that seem too good to be true..
is there a reason to try ? help me believe help me heal help me redeem myself for I am darkness and cannot see the light.
June 27, 2010
The dentists chair
I had an epiphany this morning...yayyyyyy big word :) ..my mind wandered back to when i was a child and my parents would take me to the dentist for regular checkups , unfortunately my teeth have always been prone to cavities and I also had to get braces...sigh and thus the visits were more frequent than I would have liked..it was always a terrifying experience for me I hated needles, I hated pain and my dentist had a strange name as she wasn't Kenyan ..Dr weglarz And she would place me in the seat and takeout the needle to numb my gums and would try and comfort my distraught self and say 'no pain..no pan 'in her accented English...and off I would go!!ask my mother,i gave the nurses and my parents a run for their money! Out of the office, and into the corridors and would enjoy my freedom for a couple of seconds before my captors would catchup with me and return me kicking and screaming back into 'the chair' and shortly the pain would begin..and the tears would come.. But eventually it would end and I would be given a lollipop and enjoy a trip to the ice cream parlor with my father..for some reason this scenario played out in my head as I was talking to God this morning and I realized I've always been a stubborn child..even when those around me were trying to show me what's good for me I would run in the opposite direction..even with God..but a few years back he finally held me down and I finally stopped running..long enough for him to 'fix my cavities' and set 'my teeth straight' so that I may live right and stay on the path I was intended to walk on.. He loves me and wants the best for me and now that I look back..im glad I allowed him to hold me down on the dentists chair, it all worked out for my good.
Jeremiah 29:11.
June 24, 2010
Jeremiah 29:11.
June 24, 2010
I shed a tear
I shed a tear for you today
Because I couldn't hold you
I shed a tear for you today
Because I couldn't see you
My hearts longs for your voice ,your touch
So many things I wish I didn't say
So many things I wish i didn't do
And now I can't go back ,
And now il never see you
Il never touch you,
Il never hear you laugh
Ive carried you in my heart
And now I shed a tear as I say goodbye ,no more regret,no more dreams that will never come to be
I must let you fly and one day I will meet you in the sky.
June 23, 2010
Because I couldn't hold you
I shed a tear for you today
Because I couldn't see you
My hearts longs for your voice ,your touch
So many things I wish I didn't say
So many things I wish i didn't do
And now I can't go back ,
And now il never see you
Il never touch you,
Il never hear you laugh
Ive carried you in my heart
And now I shed a tear as I say goodbye ,no more regret,no more dreams that will never come to be
I must let you fly and one day I will meet you in the sky.
June 23, 2010
I praise you
Through the rain and through the storm I praise you!
Even when I am drowning in my tears I praise you!
When death seems like the only escape from life's treacherous journey I praise you!
I praise you because I know because of your never ending unmeasurable love I can rest easy knowing you are always holding my hand
I praise you because I find my worth, my identity my very purpose for my existence in you!
I will never lack, I will never be alone and even when I die I shall live again
I praise you because this morning I am counting my blessings , they bring me so much joy I can dance ,i can sing I am alive I am loved!
I will praise you because you are God and I strive to bring you joy and warm your heart.I praise you , I praise you, FOREVER I praise you !!!
June 21, 2010
Even when I am drowning in my tears I praise you!
When death seems like the only escape from life's treacherous journey I praise you!
I praise you because I know because of your never ending unmeasurable love I can rest easy knowing you are always holding my hand
I praise you because I find my worth, my identity my very purpose for my existence in you!
I will never lack, I will never be alone and even when I die I shall live again
I praise you because this morning I am counting my blessings , they bring me so much joy I can dance ,i can sing I am alive I am loved!
I will praise you because you are God and I strive to bring you joy and warm your heart.I praise you , I praise you, FOREVER I praise you !!!
June 21, 2010
The heart
She extends her hand invites you in,her eyes a promise of a better life
Of happiness,companionship and love
You accept her invitation and begin to walk with her
the adventure begins
How deceitful is the heart,
How uncompromising in its belief that the sun will always shine,and the warmth within never fade
do not revel in its folly
Let hope stay alive but remember the darkness will come and you must be ready to overcome it
June 12, 2010
Of happiness,companionship and love
You accept her invitation and begin to walk with her
the adventure begins
How deceitful is the heart,
How uncompromising in its belief that the sun will always shine,and the warmth within never fade
do not revel in its folly
Let hope stay alive but remember the darkness will come and you must be ready to overcome it
June 12, 2010
An ode to friendship
I am surrounded by so much love,
It amazes me when a friend gets angry on my behalf at someone who hurts me
I know a couple who would take a bullet for me
a simple phonecall and they would dispatch an army to the offenders doorstep
I remember the time you carried out a rescue operation, when iwas so disraught i couldnt see through my tears
Or that time when you took five minutes to pray me through my storm
Or that time we danced and laughed the night way
and took a bus to a neighbouring country to escape the confines of our city and just exhale.
I am so blessed,when we were created he did not intend for us to walk on this journey alone
He gave us companions,fellow warriors to walk with us to run the race to ensure we finish well.
So many times we wait untill its too late to appreciate each other.i wont, i love y'all im thankful to all my brothers and sisters .
This ones for you.
June 7, 2010
It amazes me when a friend gets angry on my behalf at someone who hurts me
I know a couple who would take a bullet for me
a simple phonecall and they would dispatch an army to the offenders doorstep
I remember the time you carried out a rescue operation, when iwas so disraught i couldnt see through my tears
Or that time when you took five minutes to pray me through my storm
Or that time we danced and laughed the night way
and took a bus to a neighbouring country to escape the confines of our city and just exhale.
I am so blessed,when we were created he did not intend for us to walk on this journey alone
He gave us companions,fellow warriors to walk with us to run the race to ensure we finish well.
So many times we wait untill its too late to appreciate each other.i wont, i love y'all im thankful to all my brothers and sisters .
This ones for you.
June 7, 2010
It still hurts to try
i Know ,i know..
its for my good i know
but its not easy
and im trying not to let is show
my heart is bleeding,my faith is strong
the flicker of hope still pushing me on
and though i know you have my back
today id rather crawl back into bed
you will always guide me and give me the strength
your love will never change even through my misty eyes
i see you reaching out for me and even now when i cry
and soon i know you will amaze me with joy and favor unknown
so until then,let me cry, i will try
to get through today and let you take care of tomorrow.
Matthew 6:31-34.
May 20, 2010
its for my good i know
but its not easy
and im trying not to let is show
my heart is bleeding,my faith is strong
the flicker of hope still pushing me on
and though i know you have my back
today id rather crawl back into bed
you will always guide me and give me the strength
your love will never change even through my misty eyes
i see you reaching out for me and even now when i cry
and soon i know you will amaze me with joy and favor unknown
so until then,let me cry, i will try
to get through today and let you take care of tomorrow.
Matthew 6:31-34.
May 20, 2010
First breath
You were there when i took my first breath, and i opened my eyes to take my first glimpse of the world,
You entrusted me to the two most precious individuals ive known, their instructions to raise and guide me and prepare me to stand on my own
I have stood on my own, i have learned to live,
Ive experienced life with all it has to offer,but it never felt right,there was an ache, a hunger a restlessness
A question that needed to be answered,a thirst that needed to be quenched
And so i searched, until the road led me to you,
My creator,my savior,my friend
And all my questions were answered, all the turmoil quelled,i looked back and saw him walking along the road i had traveled,
As I struggled so hard to make it on my own, his outstretched arm waiting to hold mine, and lead me to the purpose he created me for.
I don't need to find myself, i am already found
I don't need to look for love
I am already loved
I don't need to fight the battles
He has already won!
I no longer fear death for i know i will be at peace
Id rather stick to the giver of my first breathe for i know i will be safe when i take my last.
there is a long journey between your first breathe and your last
I don't know about you but id rather have the map than spend years wandering in the dark
Eternal life, eternal death
The choice you and i need to make between my first and last breath.
John 3:16.
May 11, 2010
You entrusted me to the two most precious individuals ive known, their instructions to raise and guide me and prepare me to stand on my own
I have stood on my own, i have learned to live,
Ive experienced life with all it has to offer,but it never felt right,there was an ache, a hunger a restlessness
A question that needed to be answered,a thirst that needed to be quenched
And so i searched, until the road led me to you,
My creator,my savior,my friend
And all my questions were answered, all the turmoil quelled,i looked back and saw him walking along the road i had traveled,
As I struggled so hard to make it on my own, his outstretched arm waiting to hold mine, and lead me to the purpose he created me for.
I don't need to find myself, i am already found
I don't need to look for love
I am already loved
I don't need to fight the battles
He has already won!
I no longer fear death for i know i will be at peace
Id rather stick to the giver of my first breathe for i know i will be safe when i take my last.
there is a long journey between your first breathe and your last
I don't know about you but id rather have the map than spend years wandering in the dark
Eternal life, eternal death
The choice you and i need to make between my first and last breath.
John 3:16.
May 11, 2010
Confessions of her
How do i express what i feel ?for so long this is all ive known,
How do i tell you im hurting?
When before i was ignored,
Attacked, dismissed
How do i tell you i love you,when before those words were never echoed
How do i tell you i am afraid
That you'll take advantage of me take my kindness for weakness,walk all over me as i put on a smile doing my best to hide whats inside..
how do i take your hand,
allow you to lead,trust that you'll never let my feet stumble ,when before i fell,and took what felt like a lifetime to get up again.
I am not that girl anymore,the scared,lonely guarded ,untrustworthy,
my savior's love has set me free,i know i can trust him,
I know i can love him,
I know he will lead me to all that's good for me
And protect my healing heart from unnecessary pain
And although yes its hard to bring down the walls that have guarded my heart
It makes it easy knowing i can trust u because you trust him..i am woman i am complex but stick close to him and he will show you
how to watch over and win his daughters precious heart
May 5, 2010
How do i tell you im hurting?
When before i was ignored,
Attacked, dismissed
How do i tell you i love you,when before those words were never echoed
How do i tell you i am afraid
That you'll take advantage of me take my kindness for weakness,walk all over me as i put on a smile doing my best to hide whats inside..
how do i take your hand,
allow you to lead,trust that you'll never let my feet stumble ,when before i fell,and took what felt like a lifetime to get up again.
I am not that girl anymore,the scared,lonely guarded ,untrustworthy,
my savior's love has set me free,i know i can trust him,
I know i can love him,
I know he will lead me to all that's good for me
And protect my healing heart from unnecessary pain
And although yes its hard to bring down the walls that have guarded my heart
It makes it easy knowing i can trust u because you trust him..i am woman i am complex but stick close to him and he will show you
how to watch over and win his daughters precious heart
May 5, 2010
The darkness within
Its sure to come, every time the sun rises there is the anticipation of darkness setting in,
The old familiar fears creep in,whispered thoughts flitting across your mind like butterflies, the sickening sinking knot in your tummy,
Makes you wish you could curl up in a corner and hide,
How do i kill this sadness inside?
Its in the word, its in a song,its in the uplifting telephone call from a loved one,its a whispered prayer, its in a loving embrace,the warmth replaces the coldness that sets, and soon, the moon is bright and the stars are in sight..there is still a reason to fight, no fear,no more fright ,the Savior,the brave knight ,dispels the darkness within.
April 28, 2010
The old familiar fears creep in,whispered thoughts flitting across your mind like butterflies, the sickening sinking knot in your tummy,
Makes you wish you could curl up in a corner and hide,
How do i kill this sadness inside?
Its in the word, its in a song,its in the uplifting telephone call from a loved one,its a whispered prayer, its in a loving embrace,the warmth replaces the coldness that sets, and soon, the moon is bright and the stars are in sight..there is still a reason to fight, no fear,no more fright ,the Savior,the brave knight ,dispels the darkness within.
April 28, 2010
You do not know the cost
The words from cece winans song alabaster box echo in my mind this morning,you weren't there when he found me, you weren't there when he wrapped his loving arms around me, you don't know the cost of the oil from my alabaster box..it pains me to see my partners in the faith pull each other down,
It would be so beautiful if instead we helped each other to stand, the road is long and hard, and yes my spirit will grow weary and all im asking is that you my brother, my sister will speak words of encouragement and support when i grow tired, sharpen me,build me, walk with me, we have come so far and there's no turning back,
So what i ask of u today is to remember the cross,the story of us, that JESUS saw you and i as we were ,as we are, and he loved us ,he couldn't bare to let us die and spend eternity in torment, so he died..and he said the words it is finished.done.the end..
The cost of his blood can never be priced,but that was the day i gained my freedom.
You dont know the cost so do not remind me of my past,instead, pray with me as i pray for you that we finish the race and do the great works that God has called us to do.
April 26, 2010
It would be so beautiful if instead we helped each other to stand, the road is long and hard, and yes my spirit will grow weary and all im asking is that you my brother, my sister will speak words of encouragement and support when i grow tired, sharpen me,build me, walk with me, we have come so far and there's no turning back,
So what i ask of u today is to remember the cross,the story of us, that JESUS saw you and i as we were ,as we are, and he loved us ,he couldn't bare to let us die and spend eternity in torment, so he died..and he said the words it is finished.done.the end..
The cost of his blood can never be priced,but that was the day i gained my freedom.
You dont know the cost so do not remind me of my past,instead, pray with me as i pray for you that we finish the race and do the great works that God has called us to do.
April 26, 2010
Forever
Forever just began..
I used to hear about it, but now i trully know
I dont have to wait to watch it on my favourite tv show
His love is so amazing and so tender no doubt its
From above
Its a true reflection of Gods undying and neverending love
Im filled with joy,no more sorrow i want to sing and shout
And the best part is i know when i arise, when i lay down nothing is going to change
Because the Savior delivered him personally into my life, forever and a day! :-)
April 25, 2010
I used to hear about it, but now i trully know
I dont have to wait to watch it on my favourite tv show
His love is so amazing and so tender no doubt its
From above
Its a true reflection of Gods undying and neverending love
Im filled with joy,no more sorrow i want to sing and shout
And the best part is i know when i arise, when i lay down nothing is going to change
Because the Savior delivered him personally into my life, forever and a day! :-)
April 25, 2010
Afraid
The warrior was dead and gone, of this she had no doubt
and with this came over a cold chill, a deep sense of dread,
What was to become of her?
Would she never be rescued from her deep despair?
Was she destined to long and lonely cold nights?
Would her heart e always be heavy with longing for a love that would never be?
Would her father the KING send another to Succeed where others had failed?
her Soul Was downcast Her Sorrow tangible
As she Wept for wasted years
Then she heard it,it was barely a whisper , a voice in her head, it filled her heart, mind body and soul
I am with you always even to the very end of the age
A glimmer of hope, turned into joy,peace,love
A smile touched her lips and reached her eyes,
It was well with her soul
For she now knew she would never walk alone.
Jeremiah 29:11.
April 23, 2010
and with this came over a cold chill, a deep sense of dread,
What was to become of her?
Would she never be rescued from her deep despair?
Was she destined to long and lonely cold nights?
Would her heart e always be heavy with longing for a love that would never be?
Would her father the KING send another to Succeed where others had failed?
her Soul Was downcast Her Sorrow tangible
As she Wept for wasted years
Then she heard it,it was barely a whisper , a voice in her head, it filled her heart, mind body and soul
I am with you always even to the very end of the age
A glimmer of hope, turned into joy,peace,love
A smile touched her lips and reached her eyes,
It was well with her soul
For she now knew she would never walk alone.
Jeremiah 29:11.
April 23, 2010
Saying goodbye
Every battle has an ending
And after the dust settles
You are able to evaluate the aftermath
The questions begin was it worth it?was the object of the warriors affections rescued, cities plundered?power attained?
The pain endured during the battle for the heart is long and tedious and many a warrior has lost his life in this pursuit..they never thought to consider that she wasnt the one..the bravest warrior is the one who walks away from a battle that need not be
He lives to fight another day
He feels the embers of hope turning into burning flames
he has to let her go
because only then will he find her..say goodbye brave prince the day is drawing nigh,
When she will be yours one day and hearts will no longer have to die.
April 21, 2010
And after the dust settles
You are able to evaluate the aftermath
The questions begin was it worth it?was the object of the warriors affections rescued, cities plundered?power attained?
The pain endured during the battle for the heart is long and tedious and many a warrior has lost his life in this pursuit..they never thought to consider that she wasnt the one..the bravest warrior is the one who walks away from a battle that need not be
He lives to fight another day
He feels the embers of hope turning into burning flames
he has to let her go
because only then will he find her..say goodbye brave prince the day is drawing nigh,
When she will be yours one day and hearts will no longer have to die.
April 21, 2010
Last one standing
There comes a time in every woman's life when you wake up from your teenage dream
And realize you are knocking on the big 30
Your closest ride or die girls are now married and having babies
Weekend plans become scarcer and scarcer, you become the fifth wheel so they stop calling and inviting you for plans,no matter how much you try and maintain the friendships it becomes impossible,for they have moved on to the next phase,
They need like minded friends, married friends..with kids
So you start from scratch and make new friends,but its not the same..they don’t know your history,they don't know about your first crush, or know why you have a long scar on your knee, or why you cry every time a certain song comes one..
Life is like that ,a constant cycle of new phases..this one caught me off guard,
But I am a woman, I am strong, I refuse to be sad and lonely,
Im going to enjoy this new phase of self discovery, for I am not alone
I never thought id be the last one standing, im saying goodbye to the past..
Looking above as he guides me, getting closer and closer to his heart.
March 31, 2010
And realize you are knocking on the big 30
Your closest ride or die girls are now married and having babies
Weekend plans become scarcer and scarcer, you become the fifth wheel so they stop calling and inviting you for plans,no matter how much you try and maintain the friendships it becomes impossible,for they have moved on to the next phase,
They need like minded friends, married friends..with kids
So you start from scratch and make new friends,but its not the same..they don’t know your history,they don't know about your first crush, or know why you have a long scar on your knee, or why you cry every time a certain song comes one..
Life is like that ,a constant cycle of new phases..this one caught me off guard,
But I am a woman, I am strong, I refuse to be sad and lonely,
Im going to enjoy this new phase of self discovery, for I am not alone
I never thought id be the last one standing, im saying goodbye to the past..
Looking above as he guides me, getting closer and closer to his heart.
March 31, 2010
Warrior :part 2 dedicated to him
I didn't have to say it you could sense my mood
you were tender enough to let me
cry and yet strong enough to share your will to fight on
i cant remember when u weren't there
every battle,ever tear
constant,enduring,
never ending
you've prayed with me
and stayed with me
protected me from harm
i know in your arms i can be still and calm
i look up to God and the road always leads me back to you
i know it gets harder and yes the trials are getting tougher
but im not afraid with you holding my hand, iknow we will triumph and continue to stand.
My warrior,my friend. I pray we make it to the end.
March 24, 2010
you were tender enough to let me
cry and yet strong enough to share your will to fight on
i cant remember when u weren't there
every battle,ever tear
constant,enduring,
never ending
you've prayed with me
and stayed with me
protected me from harm
i know in your arms i can be still and calm
i look up to God and the road always leads me back to you
i know it gets harder and yes the trials are getting tougher
but im not afraid with you holding my hand, iknow we will triumph and continue to stand.
My warrior,my friend. I pray we make it to the end.
March 24, 2010
Music; dedicated to you.
I wrote you a letter
because i wanted you to know
that i wish you had never shut and closed the door
you were the one who connected with my soul
my passsions and fears
made me feel like there was nothing i couldnt do
you touched me with your eyes and held me with your heart
i never had to say a word to say what i was feeling
and yet you taught me to share,speak my mind
all my fears were stripped away, i saw me through your eyes
i was beautiful, iwas gifted,i was adored
i came alive i began to grow
i saw the music that you were teaching me to write
i heard it all around me ,ifelt it on my skin
i felt it on my lips everytime we shared a kiss
and yes i know it ended ,and sometimes the wounds are still sore
but this letter is to tell you now
i wouldnt take it back or change the past
in the end you left me with this gift
they will never understand
why i still smile and go on
but you do,i do, we will always know
music is that love that carries me home
March 17, 2010
because i wanted you to know
that i wish you had never shut and closed the door
you were the one who connected with my soul
my passsions and fears
made me feel like there was nothing i couldnt do
you touched me with your eyes and held me with your heart
i never had to say a word to say what i was feeling
and yet you taught me to share,speak my mind
all my fears were stripped away, i saw me through your eyes
i was beautiful, iwas gifted,i was adored
i came alive i began to grow
i saw the music that you were teaching me to write
i heard it all around me ,ifelt it on my skin
i felt it on my lips everytime we shared a kiss
and yes i know it ended ,and sometimes the wounds are still sore
but this letter is to tell you now
i wouldnt take it back or change the past
in the end you left me with this gift
they will never understand
why i still smile and go on
but you do,i do, we will always know
music is that love that carries me home
March 17, 2010
Home
I want to go home
where the sun shines all year around..
where it doesn't hurt no more and the darkness is long gone
where pain isn't welcome and happiness and joy prevail
where music like the wind surrounds us everywhere
where love abounds and hate is shown the gate
where his glory shines and what is his is mine
i see the time is nigh you cannot deny
my eyes keep looking up to the sky
i will be ready this is what i pray
i want to go home to heaven someday.
Home.
March 7, 2010
where the sun shines all year around..
where it doesn't hurt no more and the darkness is long gone
where pain isn't welcome and happiness and joy prevail
where music like the wind surrounds us everywhere
where love abounds and hate is shown the gate
where his glory shines and what is his is mine
i see the time is nigh you cannot deny
my eyes keep looking up to the sky
i will be ready this is what i pray
i want to go home to heaven someday.
Home.
March 7, 2010
Nobodys' home
I used to know her..she was my very best friend..she was so full of life ,so starry eyed life full of promise and excitement..Meeting him only made it better.She knew that it was her destiny to be by his side there were no doubts no fears ...everything seemed possible.it was true love.I was happy for her ,how could i not?they were perfect together the bells were ringing..beautiful ,melodious sounds.it was only a matter of time and so we waited..
As the years went by and life happened we drifted apart..and i often wondered what became of my best friend..until i met her the other day..she wasn't the same girl..i could tell just by looking into her eyes that she was dead inside...barely drifting through the days..her heart was broken..he was gone..she told me she couldn't find a reason to live..that she had lost the will to go on..she was going through the motions of everyday life not knowing if she would ever feel alive again..many would meet her and think she was fine..they were too busy to take time and find out the truth..too busy to hold her hand,wipe her tears,share an embrace.
next time you meet her look closely into her eyes,she isn't there,shes lost in the past,hurting,wounded ,broken.
nobody's home.
As the years went by and life happened we drifted apart..and i often wondered what became of my best friend..until i met her the other day..she wasn't the same girl..i could tell just by looking into her eyes that she was dead inside...barely drifting through the days..her heart was broken..he was gone..she told me she couldn't find a reason to live..that she had lost the will to go on..she was going through the motions of everyday life not knowing if she would ever feel alive again..many would meet her and think she was fine..they were too busy to take time and find out the truth..too busy to hold her hand,wipe her tears,share an embrace.
next time you meet her look closely into her eyes,she isn't there,shes lost in the past,hurting,wounded ,broken.
nobody's home.
Warrior
He stands ,shoulders erect ,eyes facing ahead
tall, strong, scars from battles long gone cover his face
ahead he knows he will face great peril..fight ferocious monsters
rivers of fire, the promise of death facing his every step
but still he proceeds, with fire in his eyes resolute strength
knowing what he will gain is worth losing his life for
shes the beat of his heart, the song on his lips
the reason he lives
and every battle ,every war brings him closer
to the day when he shall see her face again
for this alone,he shall fight to the end.
so he unsheathes his sword, says a silent prayer
and forges ahead
for no greater love has he than he who should lay down his life
for the one he loves.
Warrior.
inspired by John 5;13
February 24, 2010
tall, strong, scars from battles long gone cover his face
ahead he knows he will face great peril..fight ferocious monsters
rivers of fire, the promise of death facing his every step
but still he proceeds, with fire in his eyes resolute strength
knowing what he will gain is worth losing his life for
shes the beat of his heart, the song on his lips
the reason he lives
and every battle ,every war brings him closer
to the day when he shall see her face again
for this alone,he shall fight to the end.
so he unsheathes his sword, says a silent prayer
and forges ahead
for no greater love has he than he who should lay down his life
for the one he loves.
Warrior.
inspired by John 5;13
February 24, 2010
The Awakening
It begins like a tiny spark, barely there; you’d miss it if you blinked
Then the wind blows and fuels it into a flame
Soon the warmth from the fire flows deliciously through your system
From the tip of your toes it starts, passes fluidly though your belly until it reaches the top
And soon there is a sparkle in your eye, a bounce in your step, a smile on your face.
Something’s different, something’s new, something’s fresh
Love has come home.
February 3, 2010
Then the wind blows and fuels it into a flame
Soon the warmth from the fire flows deliciously through your system
From the tip of your toes it starts, passes fluidly though your belly until it reaches the top
And soon there is a sparkle in your eye, a bounce in your step, a smile on your face.
Something’s different, something’s new, something’s fresh
Love has come home.
February 3, 2010
Its complicated
I have a question to ask
is love meant to be that simple?reason i ask this is that human beings in my experience are complex creatures..how then can a relationship flow into being without complications..i gave up on the happily ever after illusion created by many years of reading romance novels and watching starry eyed movies...you can be happy and in love but i don't believe that everything should run smoothly..im for the notion that in order for a relationship to work you need to fight for it..you need to MAKE it work..very few people want to make the effort...im guilty of giving up and running at the first sign of trouble..not anymore..im beginning to believe in second chances..and if i want a happy ending then i need to make it happen...if its complicated then call me twisted but the better!it makes it worth it , i will bear the scars of war proudly as a reminder that its worth keeping :))
January 20, 2010
is love meant to be that simple?reason i ask this is that human beings in my experience are complex creatures..how then can a relationship flow into being without complications..i gave up on the happily ever after illusion created by many years of reading romance novels and watching starry eyed movies...you can be happy and in love but i don't believe that everything should run smoothly..im for the notion that in order for a relationship to work you need to fight for it..you need to MAKE it work..very few people want to make the effort...im guilty of giving up and running at the first sign of trouble..not anymore..im beginning to believe in second chances..and if i want a happy ending then i need to make it happen...if its complicated then call me twisted but the better!it makes it worth it , i will bear the scars of war proudly as a reminder that its worth keeping :))
January 20, 2010
Nairobbery
an attempt to process my thoughts....
When you become the victim of a violent crime, a lot of things happen in the days that follow. Most of the times they happen at night and by the time the thugs are done with you it’s like a whole new person emerges. I can only describe it as an out of body experience. You hear and see things happening all around you, but your brain and all your senses are trapped in a little corner of yourself screaming, and shaking in fear. Sleep becomes like an ex boyfriend-long gone. Prayers are muttered, in an attempt to understand why it all happened. A part of yourself telling you to get it altogether, quit whining, you are lucky to be alive.
The saddest thing is the more you talk about it the sooner you begin to realise that you aren’t the only one, three out of five people in Nairobi have been victims of these night crawlers. Welcome to the club, one told me im the Head treasurer. Is this the hand that we nairobians’ have been dealt? To be comfortable with the fact that we are no longer safe in our homes? That we are no longer free to travel at night? Are we expected to race home every time you see signs of the setting sun? In order to be safe must I never leave my house? There are no answers to the many questions running through my brain, it will take a while for the paranoia to die away and for the night mares to end, but in the meantime, I will continue to look for things about the whole experience that are funny like for example how one of the thugs was excited that my clutch bag was going to make his wife happy and we actually had a conversation about the lovely color of the bag. There, I’ve actually managed to laugh out loud.
January 19, 2010
When you become the victim of a violent crime, a lot of things happen in the days that follow. Most of the times they happen at night and by the time the thugs are done with you it’s like a whole new person emerges. I can only describe it as an out of body experience. You hear and see things happening all around you, but your brain and all your senses are trapped in a little corner of yourself screaming, and shaking in fear. Sleep becomes like an ex boyfriend-long gone. Prayers are muttered, in an attempt to understand why it all happened. A part of yourself telling you to get it altogether, quit whining, you are lucky to be alive.
The saddest thing is the more you talk about it the sooner you begin to realise that you aren’t the only one, three out of five people in Nairobi have been victims of these night crawlers. Welcome to the club, one told me im the Head treasurer. Is this the hand that we nairobians’ have been dealt? To be comfortable with the fact that we are no longer safe in our homes? That we are no longer free to travel at night? Are we expected to race home every time you see signs of the setting sun? In order to be safe must I never leave my house? There are no answers to the many questions running through my brain, it will take a while for the paranoia to die away and for the night mares to end, but in the meantime, I will continue to look for things about the whole experience that are funny like for example how one of the thugs was excited that my clutch bag was going to make his wife happy and we actually had a conversation about the lovely color of the bag. There, I’ve actually managed to laugh out loud.
January 19, 2010
2009...lessons learnt
1. I am completely nothing without God..
2.when a friend walks away let them go..
3.True fulfillment comes from aligning myself to Gods will.don't kid yourself..the job,money,the house or the car woman or man will NEVER fill up that God shaped spot in all of us.
4.Family..precious companions don't take them for granted..
5.if you are healthy,can walk and jump be grateful
don't wait until your lying on a hospital bed to appreciate it.
6.saying i love you doesn't make u weak..i love all my friends..my boys all my true blue girls woi how now would i have hacked without y'all mnanijua!
7.Greatness is in me..im embracing it ..its my year to step out..
8.Singleness isn't a disease!lol..its a season!
9.lastly im not perfect im glad that im weak im glad i have imperfections it keeps me humble and reliant on God each and everyday
December 31, 2009
2.when a friend walks away let them go..
3.True fulfillment comes from aligning myself to Gods will.don't kid yourself..the job,money,the house or the car woman or man will NEVER fill up that God shaped spot in all of us.
4.Family..precious companions don't take them for granted..
5.if you are healthy,can walk and jump be grateful
don't wait until your lying on a hospital bed to appreciate it.
6.saying i love you doesn't make u weak..i love all my friends..my boys all my true blue girls woi how now would i have hacked without y'all mnanijua!
7.Greatness is in me..im embracing it ..its my year to step out..
8.Singleness isn't a disease!lol..its a season!
9.lastly im not perfect im glad that im weak im glad i have imperfections it keeps me humble and reliant on God each and everyday
December 31, 2009
Just because
Its not everyday that im perfect though i try
I keep falling and that's when i look to the sky
I'm not looking back from places ive known
Its a new season the new seeds have been sown
I walk tall i see far i have an inner strength that keeps me moving
the love i thought was lost i now see was there all along
And now im singing a joyous song
I'm loved,im treasured he knows my worth..
my heart reawakened the feelings renewed
no fear of sorrow ,i now look forward to tomorrow.
December 25, 2009
I keep falling and that's when i look to the sky
I'm not looking back from places ive known
Its a new season the new seeds have been sown
I walk tall i see far i have an inner strength that keeps me moving
the love i thought was lost i now see was there all along
And now im singing a joyous song
I'm loved,im treasured he knows my worth..
my heart reawakened the feelings renewed
no fear of sorrow ,i now look forward to tomorrow.
December 25, 2009
Mad
I get encouraged when i read the psalms and lamentations..cause i know im human when i get angry about how things are going around me..i wont pretend..im going to be real..so many times people walk around saying im good..God is good when deep inside that's not how we really feel....i get mad when i see the wicked prosper...i get mad when so many people in our country go unattended to and sleep out in the cold and on an empty stomach..i get mad when i see the people who treat me like crap prospering , didn't you say vengeance is mine?..i get mad when all the things i pray for don't get answered ,when ive spent nights crying and asking and asking and in the end feel abandoned like an orphan...i get mad cause just when it looks like its getting better it gets worse...i get mad that im mad at God who says in his word that it will work out for my good...i get mad that im not stronger ...i get mad that im not patient...i get mad that im pulling tantrums at my father...i get mad that im weak..i get mad cause i want to be better
November 5, 2009
November 5, 2009
An ode to love
Its in the smile of a baby
The kindness of a stranger
The hug from a friend
A kiss from him, a kiss from her
But the most amazing love of all is from the one
Who loved me so much
That he stretched out his hands and died that i may live..
Thats true love...
September 24, 2009
The kindness of a stranger
The hug from a friend
A kiss from him, a kiss from her
But the most amazing love of all is from the one
Who loved me so much
That he stretched out his hands and died that i may live..
Thats true love...
September 24, 2009
Reality
Its shocking, its mind blowing
I feel a cold chill on my skin
The thoughts in my head twisting and turning
Trying to grasp the reality
That it was actually worse than i thought
That wasn't love,it was insanity
That wasn't passion ,it was obsession
That wasn't jealousy, it was insecurity
That wasn't anger, it was insanity
To live is to learn, to love is to hurt ,to cry is to heal.
And hopefully as time goes by and others come my way
I will pray and strive to never make the same mistakes again.
September 23, 2009
I feel a cold chill on my skin
The thoughts in my head twisting and turning
Trying to grasp the reality
That it was actually worse than i thought
That wasn't love,it was insanity
That wasn't passion ,it was obsession
That wasn't jealousy, it was insecurity
That wasn't anger, it was insanity
To live is to learn, to love is to hurt ,to cry is to heal.
And hopefully as time goes by and others come my way
I will pray and strive to never make the same mistakes again.
September 23, 2009
Better
Better..
I know that i will be great...that God did not put me together so intricately to be nothing...to merely exist.
i feel it in my blood...i hear it in my head...i hear it in the wind and i smell it in the breeze
Greatness thumping in my chest....like the sounds of drums..with the song in my head..and the melody
on my tongue..i go forth ..i am only human yes i struggle...my flesh is so weak, temptations so strong
but i remember who called me and the plans that he has laid forth and i forge ahead
i choose to be better...so that i can please the best.
September 17, 2009
I know that i will be great...that God did not put me together so intricately to be nothing...to merely exist.
i feel it in my blood...i hear it in my head...i hear it in the wind and i smell it in the breeze
Greatness thumping in my chest....like the sounds of drums..with the song in my head..and the melody
on my tongue..i go forth ..i am only human yes i struggle...my flesh is so weak, temptations so strong
but i remember who called me and the plans that he has laid forth and i forge ahead
i choose to be better...so that i can please the best.
September 17, 2009
Only human
I know I give the impression that I have it all together,
Yes I have a strong spirit and yes many are able to lean on me
But I'm only human i have my moments
When you cut me I bleed
When I hurt I cry
When I'm exhausted I sleep
And retreat to the place where i can recharge ,be comforted and loved.
So if you can't reach me
Or if I seem distant and cold
Understand that i cant give u what u need
Give me time to hibernate ,re-evaluate
Kneel at the cross where I know for sure he will hear my cry,my pain,remove my fears.
And before long no more will there be tears
So don't get angry don't be mad
I'm only human, flesh and blood.
August 1, 2009
Yes I have a strong spirit and yes many are able to lean on me
But I'm only human i have my moments
When you cut me I bleed
When I hurt I cry
When I'm exhausted I sleep
And retreat to the place where i can recharge ,be comforted and loved.
So if you can't reach me
Or if I seem distant and cold
Understand that i cant give u what u need
Give me time to hibernate ,re-evaluate
Kneel at the cross where I know for sure he will hear my cry,my pain,remove my fears.
And before long no more will there be tears
So don't get angry don't be mad
I'm only human, flesh and blood.
August 1, 2009
A tall tale
The more she thought about it, the madder she got,
but its all good i told her, its not too late.
i wish someone would tell them, once and FOR all
when you show interest, better know what you want
cause most gals i tell you, don't have the time to play cat and mouse.
when you're ready and sure that this is the road you've chosen?
call me in six months until then im single and serving!
July 20, 2009
but its all good i told her, its not too late.
i wish someone would tell them, once and FOR all
when you show interest, better know what you want
cause most gals i tell you, don't have the time to play cat and mouse.
when you're ready and sure that this is the road you've chosen?
call me in six months until then im single and serving!
July 20, 2009
Hmmmm
Just felt the need to jot down some thoughts....so much has happened in the last one year i feel like im constantly having to restart,recharge,re brand...but that's life we you take it everyday as it comes.. and you adjust to every situation and do the very best you can to get through it..Ive loved and lost..loved again..lost AGAIN..ive been cut open physically ,emotionally...and ive felt all kinds of emotions..had to go through things i thought id never have to..but its amazing the peace i feel..it is true that God can never take you through more than you can handle..so many of my dreams and plans have had to be painfully cut short..but he is the dream giver and i know bigger and better things are coming..right now i can finally concentrate on me..yes there are days i'll be sad..and il find it too hard but i just have to remember how far ive come and the sun comes out again..cant wait for tomorrow..and the day after that..and after that...so much to look forward to..the journey has just began... :)
July 4, 2009
July 4, 2009
10 things that tick me off
Our good pastor has been asking us this question in church...helps you to figure out what ignites your passions thus leading you to figure out your purpose..
1. Our political leaders who don't have a heart for the people who put them in power in the first place..how do they sleep at night..?people are dying and all they do is steal ,eat and steal some more..
2:Even worse are Kenyans who spend 5 years complaining about the state of affairs and come elections they don't even vote..if u didn't vote then shut up!if u want things to change it starts with you.vote for the change u want to see.
3.Parents who molest their children..really?are they even human..
4.Media houses/ radio stations that put out trash on the airwaves without considering the repercussions..listening to classic fm in a mat with school going children..that could be your daughter.she grows up thinking its OK if a man treats her like rubbish ...and your son grows up thinking women are mere playthings..bravo!good job...take some responsibility for the moral decay in our society..
5. misses the days men were men and women were women..we got it all twisted !
6.if your man enough to lay with her be man enough to stay with her..children need their fathers!
7.uncouth behavior..throwing food or bottles or papers out of moving vehicles!and u complain about city council not cleaning up??don't get me started with urinating in public....even women are doing it now!saw it with my own eyes..God help us...
8.It seems uve made peace with contracting lung cancer..i on the other hand, like my lungs.blow it in the other direction please..thank you!
9.corruption....it begins and starts with you.
10.People who do nothing..i want to be a fearless influencer..i pray that my eyes open to see whats around me..that i stop being so self absorbed with making a living that i feel the pain of the poor, to hear the cries of the children, to take care of my environment, to pray for our leaders..HARD as it may be.. Vote for men of good standing.. to respect authority,to give what belongs to Caesar to Caesar and give to God what belongs to God..to make a difference in anyway possible.. To paraphrase a quote i've heard..for evil only triumphs when good men do nothing! So help me God
June 2, 2009
1. Our political leaders who don't have a heart for the people who put them in power in the first place..how do they sleep at night..?people are dying and all they do is steal ,eat and steal some more..
2:Even worse are Kenyans who spend 5 years complaining about the state of affairs and come elections they don't even vote..if u didn't vote then shut up!if u want things to change it starts with you.vote for the change u want to see.
3.Parents who molest their children..really?are they even human..
4.Media houses/ radio stations that put out trash on the airwaves without considering the repercussions..listening to classic fm in a mat with school going children..that could be your daughter.she grows up thinking its OK if a man treats her like rubbish ...and your son grows up thinking women are mere playthings..bravo!good job...take some responsibility for the moral decay in our society..
5. misses the days men were men and women were women..we got it all twisted !
6.if your man enough to lay with her be man enough to stay with her..children need their fathers!
7.uncouth behavior..throwing food or bottles or papers out of moving vehicles!and u complain about city council not cleaning up??don't get me started with urinating in public....even women are doing it now!saw it with my own eyes..God help us...
8.It seems uve made peace with contracting lung cancer..i on the other hand, like my lungs.blow it in the other direction please..thank you!
9.corruption....it begins and starts with you.
10.People who do nothing..i want to be a fearless influencer..i pray that my eyes open to see whats around me..that i stop being so self absorbed with making a living that i feel the pain of the poor, to hear the cries of the children, to take care of my environment, to pray for our leaders..HARD as it may be.. Vote for men of good standing.. to respect authority,to give what belongs to Caesar to Caesar and give to God what belongs to God..to make a difference in anyway possible.. To paraphrase a quote i've heard..for evil only triumphs when good men do nothing! So help me God
June 2, 2009
Round 2
I've been healthy all my life id never been admitted to hospital or even gone under the knife for any reason ..well until the accident..been admitted twice since then and had to go under for the 2nd time because they didn't get it right the 1st time..now ordinarily id be angry,bitter,depressed,id be looking for ways to sue the docs pants off!that's the normal human reaction...but surprisingly this time around i'm truly at peace,i have joy everyday..because i finally accepted that everything and i mean Everything no matter how painful is going to work out for my good..and now i have a story to tell...oh boy is it a story!!i can empathize with others who have gone through similar situations or worse..i can help them..i can truly say i understand what your going through.ive been to the bottom climbed up to the top,then back to the bottom again..i'm so glad i don't have to rely on my own strength..so glad :))
May 11, 2009
May 11, 2009
Forever
Its been 7months since the accident..whaaat?its been a journey and a half..I'm in awe at how God spared my life and how hes sustained me since then..i have no doubt that he loves me and will ALWAYS do whats best for me..u might think its insane especially now when i just found out that the metal they put in to fix the bone was the wrong size and the fracture isn't healing..still I'm at peace..I've been booked for surgery next Wednesday at 7am and i'm glad.cause its not a coincidence that i saw a different doctor who wants to correct the previous mistake..and do a bone graft to close the fracture...its not a coincidence that is happening now when my medical insurance has just been topped up..if it had happened earlier I wouldn't have been able to pay for it.so ya God is still at work...im at peace whatever happens forever my praise shall rise to him.it is well :)
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Questions
Did he feel depressed,
Did he feel stressed?
Did he wake up in the morning wishing he were dead?
Did he get hurt by friends,
Did he have questions in his head
Did he cry himself to sleep?
Did he sometimes weep
Did he wonder if his life on earth would count
When I'm going through trials and tears roll down my cheeks
I question my father and wonder if he understands
I'll never know what he felt
If he went through the same trials
But one thing I'm sure of
Is this,he is the greatest man
Who ever lived.
I'm so glad i have hope
That no matter how hard things get he will walk with me
Today and tomorrow!
March 26, 2009
Did he feel stressed?
Did he wake up in the morning wishing he were dead?
Did he get hurt by friends,
Did he have questions in his head
Did he cry himself to sleep?
Did he sometimes weep
Did he wonder if his life on earth would count
When I'm going through trials and tears roll down my cheeks
I question my father and wonder if he understands
I'll never know what he felt
If he went through the same trials
But one thing I'm sure of
Is this,he is the greatest man
Who ever lived.
I'm so glad i have hope
That no matter how hard things get he will walk with me
Today and tomorrow!
March 26, 2009
Closed doors
Isn't going to open that door again
Thought this time it wasn't going to rain
But all you do is drive me insane
I let u in moved around
Thinking that i was safe and sound
You don't show you don't know
That I'm priceless and rare like snow
So be gone,move on
This home has no space for your face..
Tried and tested you came out last
And for you i shall no longer task
So I'm closing this door
Keeping the key
And maybe take a trip out to sea.
March 6, 2009
Thought this time it wasn't going to rain
But all you do is drive me insane
I let u in moved around
Thinking that i was safe and sound
You don't show you don't know
That I'm priceless and rare like snow
So be gone,move on
This home has no space for your face..
Tried and tested you came out last
And for you i shall no longer task
So I'm closing this door
Keeping the key
And maybe take a trip out to sea.
March 6, 2009
Declarations of the heart
I love him that's no lie
And that's one thing i cant deny
Every sister i know is gonna ask why
But that is like questioning the sky
Its who we are
Its where we've been
Its where we will be
You try to hide
Tell your mind there's no sense
Its all none sense
Fight it,stuff it,shove it
Until You believe it
But now i know
Somethings in life
Will always show
Its in the way he makes u glow
I love him thats no lie
And thats one thing i'll no longer deny.
February 1, 2009
And that's one thing i cant deny
Every sister i know is gonna ask why
But that is like questioning the sky
Its who we are
Its where we've been
Its where we will be
You try to hide
Tell your mind there's no sense
Its all none sense
Fight it,stuff it,shove it
Until You believe it
But now i know
Somethings in life
Will always show
Its in the way he makes u glow
I love him thats no lie
And thats one thing i'll no longer deny.
February 1, 2009
Poetic
Its hard
Its bad
Its sad
When u walk and talk
And try to smile
Even walk a mile
But deep inside
The pain u continue to hide
Who will listen?
Who will call?
Who will know somethings wrong
So u wait for long
Help everybody else along
Suck it in and hope and say
That the one who lives above will always listen as i pray.
February 1, 2009
Its bad
Its sad
When u walk and talk
And try to smile
Even walk a mile
But deep inside
The pain u continue to hide
Who will listen?
Who will call?
Who will know somethings wrong
So u wait for long
Help everybody else along
Suck it in and hope and say
That the one who lives above will always listen as i pray.
February 1, 2009
Diary of a one legged woman
Ok..i'm not one legged but i do have one crutch!..I'm sitting in a restaurant in town impatiently waiting 4my ride home and my mind started thinking back..i documented this year in my head and i'm amazed at how far Ive come..its so easy to complain about today but think back and you will see,how grateful u need to be..
I may complain about my crutch-but there was a time i needed two.
I may complain that walking to the loo is too far-but there was a time i needed help couldn't go alone
I might complain,that i cant hang out with my friends like id like to..
But there was a time i was lying on a tarmac road screaming in pain..wondering whose broken leg i was looking at..
I may complain that my job sucks,but if it wasn't for my job would i have been able to pay the hospital bills?
I may get frustrated that i have to rely on people to get around and angry sometimes at the physiotherapy and bored at the slow recovery,but i only need to look back to remember i am blessed..no helmet,hit by a VAN,landed in the middle of a busy junction yet no car ran me over...how can i complain?
So ,are u complaining today?look back ,you are sure to find something to be thankful for.
December 16, 2008
I may complain about my crutch-but there was a time i needed two.
I may complain that walking to the loo is too far-but there was a time i needed help couldn't go alone
I might complain,that i cant hang out with my friends like id like to..
But there was a time i was lying on a tarmac road screaming in pain..wondering whose broken leg i was looking at..
I may complain that my job sucks,but if it wasn't for my job would i have been able to pay the hospital bills?
I may get frustrated that i have to rely on people to get around and angry sometimes at the physiotherapy and bored at the slow recovery,but i only need to look back to remember i am blessed..no helmet,hit by a VAN,landed in the middle of a busy junction yet no car ran me over...how can i complain?
So ,are u complaining today?look back ,you are sure to find something to be thankful for.
December 16, 2008
Taking stock
Wow how fast this year has gone !a few months ago i was dreading October because I didn't want to turn 27!its the oldest Ive ever been,and i had thought id have done and achieved more than i have..but the past 5months have made me realize that life isn't about ticking against my to do list.its about waking up in the morning and thanking God you're alive..its appreciating the small things like walking to the bathroom.i cant walk right now without crutches so walking is a big deal to me...its enjoying the song you hear on the radio and singing along..who cares if its off key..its about appreciating that job u love to hate,because 4me that job paid my high hospital bills..its about calling your parents to see how they are doing..family is all you have when your down,or break a leg!they wont always be around..appreciate them now..its about listening to your gut when it tells you stay away from that man..the heart isn't always right,stay out of his sight!and lastly Ive learned God created the earth and everything in it,why shouldn't i trust him to walk me through this crazy thing called life?acknowledge the creator he truly does knows whats best for you .oh oh!and..NB : there's nothing wrong with buying yourself a present on your birthday!duh i work hard,spoil thyself!happy birthday to me! :)
October 9, 2008
October 9, 2008
Broken bones
Its been one month since the accident,so much has been going through my mind since then..struggling with anger,pain,fear,helplessness,resentment towards those who caused the accident,and to those who walked away unscratched...as i count the days,the minutes the months,I'm finally getting to the point where I'm realizing Gods will in all this,he wanted my attention and hes gotten it.i was so busy running around getting caught up in serving him and continually chasing love,that i forgot the most important thing.God wants me.all of me.he broke me to make me.im learning all my lessons,picking up the pieces,listening out to hear his voice..trusting,leaning,loving,living everyday for him.broken bones..all for his purpose.i am not alone.
October 4, 2008
October 4, 2008
The cycle
To breathe is to live
To live is to try
To try is to risk
To risk is to fall
To fall is to hurt
To hurt is to learn
To learn is to gain so that there's no more pain
..so lets wait till tomorrow and do this again!
August 25, 2008
To live is to try
To try is to risk
To risk is to fall
To fall is to hurt
To hurt is to learn
To learn is to gain so that there's no more pain
..so lets wait till tomorrow and do this again!
August 25, 2008
Again
You feel lost and alone
Youve been walking this dark road so long
Looking for strength to go on
The past it haunts your soul
It feels so heavy it wont let go
Do you believe the sun can shine again,
Chase the darkness & the rain
Break free and carry on
Leave the chains behind
The sun will shine again
You've turned your back on love
Put up walls to your heart
Anybody trying to get close
Gets turned away
Well the day is drawing near when
The storm will end the rays of light will come in
Chase the darkness within
A new beginning a new dawn
Again.
July 30, 2008
Youve been walking this dark road so long
Looking for strength to go on
The past it haunts your soul
It feels so heavy it wont let go
Do you believe the sun can shine again,
Chase the darkness & the rain
Break free and carry on
Leave the chains behind
The sun will shine again
You've turned your back on love
Put up walls to your heart
Anybody trying to get close
Gets turned away
Well the day is drawing near when
The storm will end the rays of light will come in
Chase the darkness within
A new beginning a new dawn
Again.
July 30, 2008
The other side of the moon
Its dark,no life ,no air, was told it was the ultimate trip once in a lifetime they said so i jumped with excitement bought the ticket,paid the price,wanted to look all nice got on the rocket,plugged into the socket,the lift off was awesome saw the stars came close to the sun..son of a gun.!beauty unrivaled,so it unraveled..finally i landed only to find..its dark,no air,no life.the other side of the moon.
July 26, 2008
July 26, 2008
Random thoughts
Life's the full roller-coaster...i look back and cant believe the things I've been through..if this was the twenties was like damn wonder how the thirties is going to be!!..oh well its still along way away..(at least that's what i keep telling myself!!)
so from the past few years this is the wisdom Ive come up with..
life's tough,so live it!the world will still keep turning and people will keep on walking.
look upwards for your source of strength,and sideways if in need of a friend
don't be afraid to cry,its an expression of your humanity
ask for help if u need it,if u make a mistake don't whine forever learn from it and move on..
and lastly,dont be afraid to love,so what if it hurts,i know now..u cant live if u dont love!
July 23, 2008
so from the past few years this is the wisdom Ive come up with..
life's tough,so live it!the world will still keep turning and people will keep on walking.
look upwards for your source of strength,and sideways if in need of a friend
don't be afraid to cry,its an expression of your humanity
ask for help if u need it,if u make a mistake don't whine forever learn from it and move on..
and lastly,dont be afraid to love,so what if it hurts,i know now..u cant live if u dont love!
July 23, 2008
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